Sunday, August 15, 2010

tale encounters of the human kind

I really wish that I kept better track of funny and interesting moments that happen daily with odd and hysterical patient encounters. Here are a few of my favorites...that I can remember : )

1. I walk into a room to find a 400+ pound woman lying in the bed, introduce myself, "Hi my name is Jennifer I'm a PA" only to have the lady reply, "what does PA stand for, oh your my personal assistant wonderful!" I just looked in amazement and said, "yes, would you like your pedicure or manicure first?" Better yet how 'bout I make sure you don't die!
2. After doing a digital rectal exam on a male with rectal bleeding he asks, "can we cuddle?" I just shook my head in disbelief....seriously gross!
3. A cute middle-aged man stares at me after I introduce my self, smiles and says, "can I just call you Doogie Howser?"
4. Chief complaint..."I have noodles in my chest"....REALLY!
5. walk into a very STINKY room to find a ginormous lady with dreads that looked like octopus tentacles all tatted up in big block letters the word "BULL" on her right forearm and "SHIT" on her left. I couldn't help but wanna throw up my forearms and bump chests.


Sunday, August 8, 2010

the Jack's are back!

Lumber Jack & Lumber Jen made a reappearance last week. We packed our flannels and most hideous tye-die apparrel, dusted off our Chacos and headed North up the coast to Morro Bay.... HOME OF THE SEA OTTER!!! Yes, I have another obsession other than Donny Osmond, it's sea otters. They are so cute I want to squeeze them (& the guy in the pic...apparently), too bad they're endangered. Oh well one day.
We camped in a tiny tent, ate heart shaped tomatoes to symbolize out hippie livin' love and roasted all things mallows and starbursts to our hearts content.
We snuck in a little edu-ma-cation and visited Hearst Castle. It was cool, that guy was redick, and I was once again reminded why I don't do the whole museum thing.

Best of all, the last day there we wandered to Morro Rock, ventured to a secluded area and spotted a sea otter swimming in the bay! I was ecstatic, I squealed...yes jenjolley squeals! As I got to close the otter he looked me straight in the face and ducked back under the ocean blue. I was sad he left so soon.

Central California was breathtakingly beautiful in every way...until next time

Love, Lumberjen & Lumberjack