Thursday, March 25, 2010

a new understanding

I have a new understanding for people who are dealing with tragedy in their lives. A new understanding for people who have lost their parents, children and loved ones. I have a new understanding, a new kind of compassion for people who feel this pain. I have a new understanding for my friends who have lost parents and siblings before I. There has not been a day gone by that I don't cry and ache. I have given more hugs to strangers and held patient's hands to tell them that everything will be ok and I'm sorry for their own pain.

Today a patient came in named Joseph, just like my daddy. He was aching and sad. His mother died unexpectedly yesterday. I hugged him. I cried with him. My heart aches for him.

Sometimes I don't feel like pretending, so I don't. Sometimes I may seem weird and standoffish, it's because I am. I don't like to pretend. Well, now this blog sounds like a weird emo chick...maybe I am.


Jen said...

I have never had someone close to me pass away. the closest has been great grandparents. I am scared for that day to come though. So I am one of those people who don't quit "understand" yet.

I am glad that you are able to express your true feeling about this sad situation though. It's way better than keeping it trapped inside yourself. & I'm sure your patients appreciate it sooooo much!

Lexi and Jared Westergard said...

I couldn't agree with you more, you really don't understand until you go through it yourself. I wish I could be there for you Jen I know this is a difficult time for you. Know I am always thinking of you and you are in my prayers I love you!

jalen said...

I know we have talked about this so many times but we are forever changed. It isn't easy. It never will be. I love you so much Jen. You have been such a rock to me during this time. I love we can talk everyday for hours if needed. Sometimes we laugh, and sometimes we cry but no matter what I ALWAYS feel so much better after talking to you. I feel so lucky to have you as a little sister. You pray for me, your patient with me, and you know what to say to get me back on track! I love you!

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