Bitter sweet

OH wow I just realized Andy posted a ski video on our 4 year anniversary, not a "happy anniversary Jen you are the most amazing wife in the world" post! LOL that's my husband he is so romantic! Well now I don't feel so bad about posting this...

Yes, Andy & I celebrated 4 years of wedded bliss this past week. I am in deed so thankful I married such a great guy and got awesome in-laws in return, however, throughout the week my thoughts were turned to this guy...
My dad was a huge support and strength to me throughout the whole engagement and wedding planning process, it was one of the most fun & cherished times in our relationship. We'd talk several times a day while I was in Washington & he was back home. He gave me lots of advice and was so excited about "the big day". He wanted it to be perfect for me and wanted to go all out and "throw a great party" for all of the guests. At times he got a little carried away with the going all out and thought it would be a great idea to hire a mime (yes the kind with white painted faces that don't speak) to entertain the guests in line. LOL I almost died when he suggested that one! Thankfully my aunt told him we were planning a wedding not a circus! That is one of my favorite things about my dad, how excited he would get about events, trips or whatever. He always said "if we're gonna do it let's do it right!" He is awesome to say the least.

Recently someone asked me if I had moved on from his loss. What kind of questions is that? Does anyone ever really move on from such a tragedy? Will I ever move on, NO, but I'm trying to figure out how to live my life and keep my world moving when it feels like it stopped. I hold on to precious memories that I have of him and thank the Lord for the angels He places in my life daily to help me keep going. My dad is one of those angels, I know it.

I am so thankful for the daddy daughter dance we shared at our reception. I use to cry at my friends weddings when they danced with their dad because I wanted to do that with mine and at the time wasn't sure if I'd get that chance. I'm so glad that I did. It's those precious moments that we had that keep me going.